Geonosis Clone Trooper vs. Lord Vladek vs. Skeleton
Amset-Ra is soaking in his forbidden hot tub when Pharaoh Hotep approaches him. Amset-Ra: I meant to say this last battle, but how come I'm still here when I really wanted to come with you to stop Shadow, Bird, and Tech? Pharaoh Hotep: Those coronas still hurt... Amset-Ra: And how come you're still here when you took your team out to stop Shadow, Bird, and Tech?!I Pharaoh Hotep: The same reason you're hearing the others in the background. ???: Give me back my hair! ???: NO WAY!!!!!!! ???: Update complete. ???: Excellent, my authentic, beautiful, creative... Pharaoh Hotep: See? Amset-Ra: How... What... Pharaoh Hotep: What is this sorcery, you ask? Well, myself and some of the other Pyramid Staff members are from a parallel universe. Amset-Ra: Cliché. Pharaoh Hotep: No, really! NexoByte made all this up just to use the characters while Surtatb2007 is away. Amset-Ra: Ah. That explains a lot. Pharaoh Hotep: Now if you'll excuse me, I need to take a pill for my LEGO Overwatch hype. He leaves the room. Amset-Ra: Wait, there a pills to cure hype? Oh wait, those are chill pills. He has a double take. Amset-Ra: LEGO Overwatch?! I need one of those pills! He gets out of the hot tub, almost forgetting his wraps, and runs after his dad. Amset-Ra: Never run by a pool. Don't be a hypocrite like me. Wyldstyle: Welcome to Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid! Audience: YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHhuh? Wyldstyle: Believe me, I know. This is weird. I'm supposed to be captured by Shadow, Bird, and Tech right now. But here I am. I'm from a parallel universe! Did any of you read the Before the Battle section? About a dozen minifigures raise their hands. A few flash sheepish grins. Amset-Ra: Psst! The seat coronas! Wyldstyle: I forgot about those! She presses a button, and all the minifigures who didn't raise their hands are burnt up by Amset-Ra's spare crowns lying under the seats. Amset-Ra: Thst's right, I own about 7,000 crowns! Wyldstyle: What about wraps? Amset-Ra: Got plenty of those. One of 'em is even signed by Mr. Gold himself! Audience: REALLY?! Vladek: That really doesn't matter. I've got a helmet forged with fire and signed by the great Tee-Vee! The audience cheers. Wyldstyle: Oh no! I accidentally hit the button for invisibility! Amset-Ra: It's not your fault. Both buttons are white with green trim and labeled "Press this button to make your annoying guests disappear". Wyldstyle: Okay. In the Red Corner, the long-time-serving clone with the long name, GCT! GCT: Second only to Specialized Geo- Wyldstyle: Right, I get the idea. In the Yellow Corner (the Green Corner is in for repairs), the unspeakable one's ancestor and great king of Morcia, Lord Vladek! King Mathias: Traitor! Vladek: Yes! I'm totally soaking up the glory right now! Ogel: You go, Gramps! Amset-Ra: Like father, like evil conqueror... Ogel: I feel misrepresented! Wyldstyle: In the Blue Corner is a single skeleton. Amset-Ra: Apparently this skeleton doesn't speak. Wyldstyle: Apparently Ogel is predicting today. Amset-Ra: Again?! Ogel: Most definitely the Skeleton will win. He does, after all, look like one of my Skeleton Drones. He falls through the Green Corner. Ogel: Aaaahhhh... Crunch. Amset-Ra: I could have told you the Green Corner was in for repairs! Ogel: Aaahhh! Poison Ivy's plants and stuff! They burrrrrn! Poison Ivy: Now you know why it's called the Green Corner! Vladek: I'm avenging Junior right now! WOP! Amset-Ra: Aaaahhhhh... Ding! Wyldstyle: Well, I guess Tee-Vee gets to start the battle! Tee-Vee: Battle:start. GCT: Watch the hole in the Green Corner! Vladek: It'll be your grave! Wyldstyle: Vladek tries to lunge toward GCT, but the clone leaps over the Green Corner! Crash! RattleRattle GCT: Oh, it's you, Mr. Skeleton. I forgot you were here. Vladek: Skeletons were a staple in various Castle subthemes. GCT: So? Vladek: And I've been reading past battles. GCT: So? Vladek: And one of the fighters was named Frakjaw. GCT: So? Vladek: And he was a skeleton. GCT: So? Vladek: And his head was used as cannon fodder. GCT: So what's your point? Vladek: I'm going to use the Skeleton as a weapon! GCT: I kinda saw that coming. Vladek: Construct! GCT: You know, it's really not necessary to announce your- CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK Wyldstyle: It's a cannon. Vladek: Not just any old cannon. No, it's a Geonosian Cannon! GCT: How flattering. Vladek: It's kinda really powerful. Hopefully powerful enough to destroy you in one hit. GCT: With this kind of armor? Highly unlikely. Vladek: But your own gun can kill you. GCT: It's a risk I'm willing to take. Pew pew pew! GCT: Huh? Pewpewpewpewpewpewpewpewpew! Wyldstyle: GCT shoots at the Geonosian Cannon, but a force field is rendering his efforts useless! Vladek: Even Ogel's tech is dated. I affiliated myself with Blacktron two years ago, and they lent me this force field projector. Load! Vladek: Now I've loaded the entire Skeleton into the cannon. Goodbye, Geonosis Clone Trooper! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! Vladek: There must have been a technical failure! The cannon as just imploded! Wyldstyle: A cookie to whoever finds the Q in the above sound effect! Plop. GCT: It appears the Skeleton survived. RattleRattleRattle GCT: And now it's standing up! Vladek: Skeleton! Don't you remember me? You were Unit DL309 in my army! GCT: Only Castle 2007 has a DL legion. And besides, I don't think you used skeletons in Morcia. Vladek: Curses! A minor oversight at worst, though. Snap. GCT: Blast him! Pewpewpewpewpewpewpewpew! Wyldstyle: The Skeleton has successfully blocked GCT's lasers using its arm! I guess we can say he is considered armless and dangerous! Vladek: No puns allowed here! Fortunately I still have a spare halberd from my back pocket! GCT: What do you plan to use it for? Vladek: I'm going to make chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop- Wyldstyle: And something happened to Vladek's voice! Who could have seen that coming, ladies and gentlemen?! Vladek: Ahem. As I was saying before my voice enhancer gave way, I'm going to make chop suey out of the Skeleton and save GCT for dessert. GCT: I assure you, I'm not tasty. *points* Incoming! Throw! Wham! GCT: Gah! Vladek: Baseball was always my specialty. Wyldstyle: The Skeleton threw its arm at Vladek, who batted it at GCT with his halberd! GCT: You know what? The Skeleton is taking up too much room. Lift! GCT: Hey Ogel! Want an extra soldier? Ogel: You're throwing the Skeleton down here, right? GCT: Yeah! Ogel: It can't be a Skeleton Drone unless it was a normal minifigure before, you know. GCT: Oh... Well have it anyway! Toss! Ogel: Ouch! Tee-Vee: Ring-out. Skeleton:Eliminated. Vladek: Wanna join him? GCT: Nah, I think you should. Your descendant is down there, after all. Vladek: He can climb out. Unlike you... GCT: Construct! CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK Vladek: Hey! You can't play my own joke back on me! GCT: That's right. I just built a Geonosian Cannon. Now where's the firing button... Oh, here it is! Press. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM! Tee-Vee: GCT:Eliminated. Winner:Vladek. Wyldstyle: GCT's own cannon blew up on him. Must have been a Skeleton in there... Audience: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Shark Suit Guy: I found the Q! Tee-Vee: �� Audience: YYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEE3EEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA4HHHHHHHHHHH! That night... Ogel: *to the Skeleton* ...and so I finally maintained order in LEGO City, with everyone being Skeleton Drones. Wasn't that a great story? I wonder when help will arrive... Or maybe they'll fix up the Green Corner. Amset-Ra's house. Vakama: *on TV* ...chop chop chop chop chop chop... Amset-Ra: That's gonna be my new ringtone. Here's to another pointless ending! See the Fighter Rankings as of this battle. 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